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Old 05-10-2007, 10:15 PM   #1
Aluus
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Default Why does the wierd shit always come my way?

I have two friends who recently decided they want to take their ingame relationship to the outside world. Trouble is, the girl, age 29 just went through a bad break up IRL and is on the rebound, and the guy, age SIXTEEN, is confused and coming to ME for advice on what to do, what to expect, seeing as i recently went to meet my ingame girl (went quite well btw.)

Now me, I am seeing this as a "Woman on the rebound seeking comfort in someone's arms" kinda thing, whereas the two of them seem convinced its love. The woman is from the west coast, where as in most places, 18 is the age of consent. however the boy is from the south and a state where at age 16, he's legal. As i said, she's 29 and recently got her heart ripped apart by her boyfriend of 5 years. He's 16, and like many 16 year olds wears his heart on his sleeve and falls "in love" way to easy

So now, after talking to both of them, being told i don't know what i am talking about, and admittedly banging my head on the desk repeatedly, my question is this:

Should I just back away and let them figure this out on their own, hoping neither one gets hurt or winds up on trial for statutory rape?
 
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Old 05-10-2007, 10:42 PM   #2
aidenraine
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there's only so much you can do if they won't listen. it's OBVIOUSLY a setup that's headed for disaster. but if they don't wanna see it until the train wreck's over....
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Old 05-10-2007, 10:47 PM   #3
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I have known some 16 year olds that were incredibly mature. However there is no way in hell he's ready for a woman that is just a few years off from hitting the biological clock speed bump and desperately wanting kids. If they won't listen and end up doing anything, I think the best thing you can do is make sure they do it in a state where 16 is legal.
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Old 05-10-2007, 11:19 PM   #4
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i would tottally watch and let them find their own way getting in the middle is antiproductive not recomended at all + tell the 16 that likeing older woman have a limit...... 13 years is a fucking lot and the same goes for the girl wtf with 29 years getting a 16...i know woman sometimes like it young but...thats to much the fact the boy can have an erection doesnt mean he is man who can live by himself yet......anyway just watch it will be funny.
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Old 05-10-2007, 11:26 PM   #5
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Imo, the dude's waaaaay too young to start something like a relationship at his point in life, especially with someone that much older than him.........
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Old 05-11-2007, 02:31 AM   #6
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Most young internet couples do not last long. Very few actually prosper. In this case, it's a sense of infatuation, not love. There's a difference although people experiencing it always blind it into "love". Infatuation is when you use imaginary thoughts that you like the person and that person likes you back and somewhat fantasizes about being together although they've possibly never met before in real life.

Seeing how this is over the internet, this infatuation of a 16 year old male and a 29 year old female is far too much a difference in age. The 16 year old doesn't know what he truly wants because he has no experience but possibly being lonely adds to trigger an infatuation of a nice woman that is 100% perfect who he has never met. Average puberty in males is roughly by the age of 13. This person doesn't understand their hormones correctly and still experiencing puberty changes which is why teens are typically more emotional and uncontrollable once puberty hits for several years.

The 29 year old female, saying being interested in a 16 year old male, does appear it's an infatuation plus a lonely struggle. In classic scenarios, you could say she's seeking comfort but there still lies the fact that she's still partially in love and angry at the break up towards her counterpart. Average puberty in females is about by 11-12. Normally, it's kind of true that girls mature faster than the boys.

As I see it, they will never be together. 16 year old can't even drive (in most states), can't move off, has almost no money, no job. I doubt they live near each other and he can't even support himself let alone the job of supporting someone else. The woman can probably support herself, but right now she's in a psychological affair where she needs someone to hold on to if it's true that she just broke up and is immediately wanting to hook up with a random never before met male.

Let them run their course but don't completely block them from the loop. Some things must be learned the hard way. By getting between these different emotions, you make your friend feel like you're the enemy although he's wanting to hear your opinion but then turns around and doesn't want it or like it. If he wants proper advice, ask him to ask his mother. Mothers typically have the best connection to their children and are often easier to talk to about issues. If that's not acceptable, since he's even in school (most are), he should see his school's counselor on it. Just let him know you're being honest about your opinion and that you just don't want to see him get hurt. Don't push too hard or you'll push him away but don't encourage. If able to, contact his school (you probably can't) or mother (if you know she's level headed--some families it's the father you can talk to; just someone that won't beat and yell at the kid and is experienced) and tell her of it so she can look for more signs or possibly dwelve into her son's life more to resolve the situation.

As it stands, he needs 2 more years in order to be able to officially leave his home and school. Being 16, his parents can call the authorities and police will take him home. He has no choice over that. He has virtually no transportation.

My brother had a girl he really liked in high school. He was always stubborn when it came to being told "what is right and what is wrong" and it got ugly sometimes. Although he put up a fight on conversations, deep down he took it into consideration at some points. I always thought he kind of hated me for it because I kind of turned into a father figure for him since our father was a dead beat and was somewhere else. My brother ended up dying in a car accident where my cousin was driving too fast. When I got his belongings from school, I found out that he greatly respected me and wanted to be like me when he grew up. I never knew that and all this time I thought he didn't like me a lot because we always argued and I was kind of pushy on my opinions.

Most people, when you say something, if they don't agree with it and are angry, will think about it sometimes and reflect on it. Just don't be pushy at him and make sure he knows that you don't entirely agree with the situation. There's nothing much more you can do since it's over the internet so you're forced to let "nature" take its course until he realizes something later but over time, you can slowly knock some things into his head such as asking him how he can support her, care for her, move away from all family and friends (since she's the one that actually has a home of her own--no kid takes his girlfriend to his parent's place at 16--especially not a 29 year old girlfriend). Eventually everyone will know what's going on.

I'm not a psychologist or counselor but looking for advice on the internet is the least recommended way to get your info. I can't say that 100% of what I say is true but you should really see someone physically that can give you some more insight on how to treat the situation. This is just where I stand on this kind of matter and what I believe but may not be what your better options should be for taking care of the situation. One thing I can say 100% certain is again, do not look for this kind of advice on the internet.
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Old 05-11-2007, 03:25 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akumamoto
Most young internet couples do not last long. Very few actually prosper. In this case, it's a sense of infatuation, not love. There's a difference although people experiencing it always blind it into "love". Infatuation is when you use imaginary thoughts that you like the person and that person likes you back and somewhat fantasizes about being together although they've possibly never met before in real life.
Couldn't agree more. Infatuation is fun and it's easy to get over. Love feels like someone taking a maul to your chest all day long, and it never goes away.

I am infatuated with Rina :D
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