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Old 06-25-2007, 02:23 AM   #1
Wenrick
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Default Advice for the opposite gender.

The advice I would give is for girls to realize the true nature of a guy's friendship towards you. Lets put it this way. Your friends (who are guys) more than likely are being your friend because they think they have a shot at being your boyfriend sometime in the near future. This includes online friendships. Guys don't have separate categories for girls. All girls fit into the "potential girlfriends" category. Granted, some girls are higher on that list than others, but nevertheless, guys rarely, if ever, consider you "just a friend".

I'm not even supposed to be saying this. And I know it can be frightening, especially because so many girls don't think of their guy-friends as "potential boyfriends" and some even use the guy-friends as security blankets. When you're complaining about your boyfriend to your guy-friend, he's thinking how much better of a boyfriend he could be than that asshat you have for a current boyfriend. Part of the reason you're even talking to him is because you don't feel threatened by him. And he likes it that way.

For those of you who don't believe me, prove me wrong. Go up to your friend and ask him if he'd ever consider a relationship. I'd give you a 95% chance he'd say yes. If you ask him to take you to dinner and a movie, I'd almost guarantee you he'd drive you there and take care of the bill. If you go up to him and take your clothes off, unless he's Mormon he probably won't put them back on you. He is your friend because he likes you in that way. Don't forget that.


If you could give one piece of advice to the opposite gender, what would it be?
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Old 06-25-2007, 02:56 AM   #2
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Advice?
It'd be that not all guys are as shallow as you just depicted them as.
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Old 06-25-2007, 03:22 AM   #3
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Sometimes I wonder what other guys are thinking. It's like we're on bipolar wavelengths, most are too insecure to admit being different. For example, ask any dude if he cried while watching a romance/drama movie, 7 out of 10 will lie and say no. That's the masculinity complex, second most annoying to superiority complex.

I for one do not fit the stereotype you just defined, I've had plenty of girl friends I didn't find the least bit attractive. Why? Because I don't care about looks, a friend is a friend regardless. If she has a good personality [humor especially] theres no reason we can't interact. I wouldn't lead her on by taking her out and paying for everything though, that'll lead to disaster.

Uh, to not try and derail your topic if I were to give some advice to the opposite sex, its this:

Alpha males have the most skeletons in the closet.
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Old 06-25-2007, 03:29 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferris
Advice?
It'd be that not all guys are as shallow as you just depicted them as.
Yup.
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Old 06-25-2007, 03:39 AM   #5
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Yea alot of people make the mistake that because some guys are fuckwits that it means all guys must be fuckwits. It's just like anything in the world, there are good and bad sides to something :x

And my advice to the opposite gender: girls aren't stupid you know, if a guy keeps screwing them over or is trying to play them chances are that they'll know. So don't think that by telling us guys are gonna screw us over that it's news to most girls because there're alot of vindictive woman out there (i.e. extremist feminists that give all other feminists bad names x.x ) but so yea, don't think for a second that girls are dimwitted enough to be fall for the guys who can be asses (not all guys but alot), just the same as alot of girls can be bitches if they wanna be.
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Old 06-25-2007, 03:40 AM   #6
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Advice to boys:
1.) Don't come on too strong.

And I know the next one is going to seem like a shocker and some girls are gonna be mad I said it, but:

2.) Don't wait on us hand and foot when trying to get at us. Thats WHY we feel unthreatened by you, if we KNOW you want us and will do anything to get us, where's the fun? Where's the challenge? Where's the mystery? Its always the nice boy who's the one listening and always is single despite how good his heart his. You're allowed to be nice, just dont spoil us and make it blatantly obvious you want us. Best advice I ever got from a guy friend was "You make the bed you sleep in. You choose to subject yourself to the treatment he gives you.You have a choice." If I didn't have that guy friend who was brutally honest and told me the truth rather than "what i wanted to here," (that nice guy comforting), Id probably still be with an asshole I used to date.
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Old 06-25-2007, 03:50 AM   #7
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i think Wenrick wants a babie :oops:
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Old 06-25-2007, 04:14 AM   #8
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Default Re: Advice for the opposite gender.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wenrick
Wall of text
you need to get out

Quote:
i think Wenrick wants a babie
no he needs attention

now on to the topic:
you are bassically labeling all guys, thats well bad for the ones WE ACTUALLY HAVE GF so that means according to your logic we will cheat on our gf just because we want a female friend, no so simply no now you think " well if you ever broke up with your gf you can get the replacement" well maybe but it would be just sex.

now lets get into the bills you mentioned so you think i am going about 2 hours in car for example pay the dinner pay w/e we go out just to have sex or having a better chance to be his BF online? fuck that i am not going 2 hours everyday just to look at her, in that case i just pay a hooker spend like 80% less money, BF/GF online doesnt mean anything not even being friends unsless you actually plan on meeting them one day(but actually do it and go meet them with w/e money it takes) but other way is just another person you migth NEVER meet and no long distances relationships break eventually they dont last long.

in my case i have female friends and i never consider them botticall at all just friends and just a support when i need attention making myself the victim :P
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Old 06-25-2007, 04:40 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asala
Advice to boys:
1.) Don't come on too strong.

And I know the next one is going to seem like a shocker and some girls are gonna be mad I said it, but:

2.) Don't wait on us hand and foot when trying to get at us. Thats WHY we feel unthreatened by you, if we KNOW you want us and will do anything to get us, where's the fun? Where's the challenge? Where's the mystery? Its always the nice boy who's the one listening and always is single despite how good his heart his. You're allowed to be nice, just dont spoil us and make it blatantly obvious you want us. Best advice I ever got from a guy friend was "You make the bed you sleep in. You choose to subject yourself to the treatment he gives you.You have a choice." If I didn't have that guy friend who was brutally honest and told me the truth rather than "what i wanted to here," (that nice guy comforting), Id probably still be with an asshole I used to date.
sigh i get told this now, well current and only fiance so far, lol i would just wait for her all the time if she was tired let her sleep on my shoulder if she wanted something bang i was there lol
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Old 06-25-2007, 04:52 AM   #10
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stop teasing my father. thank u.
 
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Old 06-25-2007, 05:52 AM   #11
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To defend Wenrick, I'm quite sure he didn't intend for his post to be interpreted that way. All men are different, yes. Not all men, in fact very few, are the lustful monsters many of you are reading Wenrick's post as describing. (Okay, I honestly couldn't write that sentence any better)

Would any man jump at the chance to screw a female friend? Not at all! Would any man jump at the chance to cheat on a current girlfriend so he can have as many girls as possible? Not at all! However, if a woman has a single male friend whom she goes to only as a friend for a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to speak about the day's events to... If that woman decided to ask that male on a date, 95% of the time he would say yes. Men generally don't look for female friends just to be friends. Somewhere in his skull there is a degree of attraction to the woman.

Keep in mind this is a completely different story if the woman sought out the man to be her friend instead of the man seeking out the woman friend. In this situation, the man made no choices here, and the friendship would indeed be built on kindness and friendship... or the off chance he just wants her to leave him alone. But if the man seeks out a woman friend, somewhere in his mind, if even only small, there is usually an attraction to her.

Oh, I guess I should offer some advice as well...
For God's sake, don't be a wussy! This goes for both genders. Many men and women are timid enough that they can't even build up the will power to ask out someone of the opposite gender. If more people would well up the courage to do even that much, a lot more of us would be happily coupled. Yeah, I know, that's easier said than done...
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Old 06-25-2007, 08:03 AM   #12
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Umm... I believe there is some truth to what Wenrick said. Given, there are times guys will look at girls as only a friend, the vast majority of the time, this appears to be true.

And some advice to girls:
Do not EXPECT pampering and chivalry out of all the guys you meet. If you expect it, chances are you aren't going to get it. Some guys who are more... shall we say... wealthy than others will buy you anything you want without even thinking about it. Dont go all out to make him do everything for you (my mom does this shit. She'll get to a door like 10 seconds before me and just stand there cause she wants me to hold it for her. Ugh...) Guys like it when you try to fend for yourself, and try to meet them halfway. Simply expecting everything out of guy constantly will eventually lead to trouble.

Some advice to boys:
Being feminine doesnt make you gay. Girls actually appear to like it when guys are a bit feminine and are sensitive. Don't be too pushy with girls either. If she isnt interested in you, then theres no reason to bug her about it. If she doesn't want you as a BF, just be happy you still have her as a friend. Theres no reason to not have female friends. If anything, they will likely be more precious to you than your male friends because they are more sensitive and willing to sit with you when you're upset. (From my experience anyway...) Also, as long as you arent cheating theres nothing wrong with having female friends while in a relationship (as long as the intent on cheating isnt there.)

To both sides:
Don't cheat. Theres no reason to cheat EVER. If a relationship isnt working (and no, I dont mean lack of sex. I mean actually NOT working out), then break up with the person before putting yourself 'back on the market'. If you cant be happy with one person, then dont get into relationships. Seriously, cheating is a horrid thing to do.
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Old 06-25-2007, 08:42 AM   #13
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i must admit i do prefer female friends to male their just more relaxing to be with more talkative about things like i'll never actually talk about my feelings to guys but girls i always do
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Old 06-25-2007, 10:57 AM   #14
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I must say I certainly didn't expect this much backlash. And truthfully, I didn't mean to depict men in a negative light. I'm not saying all men are sex craved pigs and will do anything to copulate. I'm not sure if I was interpreted incorrectly, if I worded it poorly, or people didn't take the time to read it thoroughly. I have to thank Nakate for her clarification. She hit the nail on the head perfectly. Basically the point is, all guys have a degree of attraction to you to, it just varies in what it is. I mentioned some girls are higher on that list than others, but its still there.

Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I'm not trying to generalize men as shallow. They are all capable of genuine love regardless of their level of attraction to you.
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Old 06-25-2007, 12:12 PM   #15
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i know a lot of girls im "just friends" with. theyre for the most part in the "ugly girls" group
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Old 06-25-2007, 01:25 PM   #16
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Quote:
The advice I would give is for girls to realize the true nature of a guy's friendship towards you. Lets put it this way. Your friends (who are guys) more than likely are being your friend because they think they have a shot at being your boyfriend sometime in the near future. This includes online friendships. Guys don't have separate categories for girls. All girls fit into the "potential girlfriends" category. Granted, some girls are higher on that list than others, but nevertheless, guys rarely, if ever, consider you "just a friend".
I recently saw a question like this asked elsewhere: "can a guy and a girl ever really just be friends?" I'd think so, but the discussion evolved the question into something like "can a heterosexual male be friends with a reasonably attractive heterosexual female without ever so much as having thoughts of possibly becoming more intimate, regardless of the current relationship status of each?" Well, doesn't seem likely to me, but why say it like that?

The way this is approached, both by Wenrick and those random Internet debaters, makes it seem like this is a bad thing. That's strange to me. "Oh no, girls, that guy's your friend and might be attracted to you!" Is this really not good? At worst, the situation is that one person wants to take the relationship further while the other doesn't. If you're posting on this site, ladies, odds are you're grown up and can tell him you don't want to have that kind of relationship. I'd say that a guy that makes a good friend in the first place can deal with it.

Anyway, if I were to offer advice to the female gender, it'd be "play with yourselves more." Seriously, especially when you're young. Your first sexual experience doesn't have to be as painful and embarassing as I hear it often is: you can get your body and mind more used to it beforehand.
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Old 06-25-2007, 01:48 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chakrila
i know a lot of girls im "just friends" with. theyre for the most part in the "ugly girls" group
I second that....Too bad they're all really nice though.....


Quote:
To both sides:
If you cant be happy with one person, then dont get into relationships. Seriously, cheating is a horrid thing to do.
I don't see why people can't be happy with relationships with multiple people....
....I mean, if you see one person, non-stop, for the rest of your life, you're going to get tired of that person.

I don't think Polygamy is a bad thing, as long as it's equal between both genders.
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Old 06-25-2007, 02:34 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZDST
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chakrila
i know a lot of girls im "just friends" with. theyre for the most part in the "ugly girls" group
I second that....Too bad they're all really nice though.....


Quote:
To both sides:
If you cant be happy with one person, then dont get into relationships. Seriously, cheating is a horrid thing to do.
I don't see why people can't be happy with relationships with multiple people....
....I mean, if you see one person, non-stop, for the rest of your life, you're going to get tired of that person.

I don't think Polygamy is a bad thing, as long as it's equal between both genders.
That goes without saying. I was aiming more at the dishonesty, not the getting tired of the person you're with. Sorry, I guess I kinda worded it poorly...
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Old 07-04-2007, 04:26 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZDST
I don't see why people can't be happy with relationships with multiple people....
....I mean, if you see one person, non-stop, for the rest of your life, you're going to get tired of that person.

I don't think Polygamy is a bad thing, as long as it's equal between both genders.
It's a matter of trust for the most part. If it's something that both partners are fine with, it isn't a problem. The thing about sleeping around is usually that it ISN'T in good faith.

If you've ever been cheated on before you should know it's incredibly hard, if not impossible, to trust someone after finding out. No matter how much you love them, when that trust is shattered there's a valley between you. You can't look them in the eyes without feeling a dagger in your back.

Personally, I would never enter a relationship with another woman if I was currently in a relationship. I think part of being in love is sharing something special with one another, and I think that's cheapened if you are intimate (not just sexually, but emotionally) with multiple partners at any one time.

And I couldn't tolerate it for the same reason. Basing it off my experience, I would imagine even if I was told and consulted about it first the message would be the same: you are insufficient so I need another man to cheat on you with.

Could you really sleep at night knowing your significant other was in bed with another man, baring her soul to him instead of yours, cuddling him instead of you, screaming his name instead of yours?
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Old 07-04-2007, 05:02 AM   #20
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it doesnt matter what men think~
if we think were small, we are small~
that means we arent satisfied with how we look, not how we appear to men usually~
...sorri, i assumed and used plural >_<
 
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