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Poll: What should I do on the Doujinshi's?
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What should I do on the Doujinshi's?

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Old 08-08-2008, 12:50 AM   #1
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Ok well all this week ive been trying to perfect an old doujin I had started with Kat (Mithra) and an Elvaan. But as I get more and more into it...I realize how bad it is. Really good sex scene pics, but my story is so bad...it pains me to work on it. Another bad thing about it is..I already drew 18 rough draft sketches, each of which have 3+ scenes on them. The reason it may suck so bad, is due to the fact that I never wrote a story.
I had a general idea, but made alot of stuff up as I went.

Well I started working on another Doujin with a better story in my opinion. Here is the first act I guess you can call it.
Warning: I am a horrible writer.

Doujinshi # 3

Warning: this Story involves Beastmen and Mithra intercourse. Go back if this bothers you.

The setting involves a Mithra trying to get to the staging point through Mamook. The mithra face is F5B. Her job is a thief. She is wearing a demon's harness. A pair regular Fishing gloves. On her legs are the skin tight dark violet colored bone harness pants (The Thief exclusive pants...forgot the name). A pair of Bounding boots she wears on her feet.


She finally survives the twisting and dangerous labyrinth. The exit is right in front of her, she can see the light of day. Suddenly she feels a sudden impact to her head. She reaches for the exit, her arm stretched out. She then falls over, collapsing onto the wet moldy floor.

She awakes and tries to adjust her eyes to the environment around her. She then realizes that she cannot move her arms, they seem to be tied around something. She rubs her head into the cold floor as she waits for her eyesight to return. It seems she is still in Mamook from the looks of it. Sealed inside one of their makeshift prisons. A cave with only one set of bars to the west. The room seems pretty empty, except for the large urn in the corner. She tries to struggle free from the restraints tied around her arm. As she is doing so, a sharp pain shoots through her arm. Blood drips to the floor after being cut from her restraints. Her arms were tied to one of their crude swords. She begins to hear footsteps coming closer to her. She pretends to play dead and lays back in her knocked out state. The Mamool stares into the cage for a brief moment, then walks back the way he came. She gets up and heads to the door.
Suddenly she jumps back and stumbles back on the floor. *She then realizes that he must have noticed her blood and knew she was awake.* The Mamool opens the door and walks in, heading towards her. She stares at the tall menace in fear. He grabs her by the hair and forces her to her knees. Rubbing her face and cheek into his bulging crotch. She closes her eyes and tightens her mouth as she knows what he is trying to do.
The Mamool drops his garb exposing his sexual nub to her. She stares at the strange thing she sees before her. * Maybe He is a she? she thinks*. He pulls her closer again, staring into the strange crevice...she sees something coming out. Before she can see what his shaft looks like. He digs one of his claws into her leg. She screams in pain, before her mouth is silenced with his penis. She closes her eyes as he pulls her back and forth by her hair. His Penis growing in size as her tongue drags across the length. She begins to except this torture for now. Knowing she cannot win a fight in these conditions.
She then begins to wonder what his cock looks like, as she feels every crevice and bump with her mouth. She stares at the shaft as her lips slide up and down. She collects her thoughts again, and begins to think of a plan to get out. Her eyes glance towards the back of the room, and she realizes he left the door open. This could be a part of the plan she needs. *Now if i can get a moment away from this creep, then I can...* Her eyes widen as she feels her mouth being filled with a hot sticky liquid. The creature makes a loud groaning and moaning sound as he cums inside her throat. She gags as she tries to swallow his huge load. He lets go of her, his cock falls out of her mouth dripping with the white semen. Some of the cum pours out of her mouth as she gasps for air. The mamool sits back in leisure as he begins to rest his exhausted shaft.
*Nows My chance* The mithra runs towards the door, fleeing as fast as she can. She is 1/2 way out the door when suddenly, she hits something. She stumbles backwards. and realizes what she ran into... 2 Mamool staring down at her, grinning with excitement
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:03 AM   #2
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I chose #2. The story's amusing and it seems (to me, at least) that it'll really let you flex your artistic muscle. Go for it!
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Old 08-08-2008, 01:19 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fudgie
I chose #2. The story's amusing and it seems (to me, at least) that it'll really let you flex your artistic muscle. Go for it!
what he said
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Old 08-08-2008, 03:14 AM   #4
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Voted 2, you'll enjoy working on it more and it'll end up being better quality I think. If you force yourself to finish the first idea when you don't really want to it may not turn out as well as the other. And while I don't really think most people read a doujin for the story, it is nice to have a reason why the "action" is happening. :)

As an aside, did that doujin you were doing with the forum members' characters wind up in permanent limbo? The person doing the story kinda vanished didn't they? The "teaser" pics you did of each scene were interesting too.
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Old 08-08-2008, 03:47 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karinastar
Voted 2, you'll enjoy working on it more and it'll end up being better quality I think. If you force yourself to finish the first idea when you don't really want to it may not turn out as well as the other. And while I don't really think most people read a doujin for the story, it is nice to have a reason why the "action" is happening. :)

As an aside, did that doujin you were doing with the forum members' characters wind up in permanent limbo? The person doing the story kinda vanished didn't they? The "teaser" pics you did of each scene were interesting too.
Yeah think im likeing the mamool one way more. I already drew the first intro scenes, and Im liking how its going more. The second act will be even better than the first when i get to it. And yeah I havnt heard any word from the person writing my story for the neko forum members in a long time. Last I heard, her pc blew up and she was trying to get the story in email.
Yeah thats true lmao...I cant read alot of doujins cuz not in english :P...I try to guess whats happening. But I notice that words do make a picture hotter.
Example: http://imagefap.com/image.php?id=193...=941669&page=1
Alot of people enjoyed that pic.
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Old 08-08-2008, 04:53 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aaaninja
Yeah think im likeing the mamool one way more. I already drew the first intro scenes, and Im liking how its going more. The second act will be even better than the first when i get to it. And yeah I havnt heard any word from the person writing my story for the neko forum members in a long time. Last I heard, her pc blew up and she was trying to get the story in email.
Yeah thats true lmao...I cant read alot of doujins cuz not in english :P...I try to guess whats happening. But I notice that words do make a picture hotter.
Example: http://imagefap.com/image.php?id=193...=941669&page=1
Alot of people enjoyed that pic.
That's true, especially if complicated things might be happening. You can usually figure out what's going on through the pictures, but good dialog and stuff really enhances the scenes, especially the "set up" scenes. Like in the doujin you're working on, if it was in JP or had no text, I could probably figure out that she gets knocked out and captured by the mamools but it's a lot better to see what she's thinking/saying etc. Also endings, a lot of doujins I can't figure out at all what happens in the end. So yeah, a good story with dialog really enhances it a lot. Or for a standalone picture, some description about what's going on in the pic. XD

Sucks about the other story with the forum members, but it seems like you have plenty of other projects keeping you busy anyway. If you ever should want to do anything with that idea though, I'd gladly write up a story, dialog, etc. based on what you have already and what's happening in the teaser pics.
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Old 08-08-2008, 08:58 AM   #7
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I don't mind if you want to go ahead and work on the new one rather than the old. But if you've already got work done on the first one I'm sure everyone would appreciate it if you would post what's already been completed for it.
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Old 08-10-2008, 06:13 PM   #8
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I'm more interested in the beastmen doujin. A mithra x elvaan doujin seems very plain to me.
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Old 08-10-2008, 09:21 PM   #9
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In the end I feel it's up to you, I'm finding the idea for the Mamool x Mithra doujin alot better, it hasn't been done before and so makes it on the whole alot more interesting. We all know what the Mamool and Trolls (and possibly to some extent the Lamia too) really do with their prisoners from besieged anyways.
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Old 08-12-2008, 09:06 AM   #10
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Mithra and Mamool...I like the two mamool idea. You draw nicely, too, I want to see the doujin when it's finished. ^_^

Good luck, and I'm sure everything will come out nicely.
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