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Old 10-13-2006, 04:58 PM   #1
Kismet
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Default My stupid manthra friend..

I've been with this "girl" on FFXI for a few months..and I've been constantly hasslling her to get a phone so I can call her. Today she finally got a phone, I called her and long story short, the voice on the other end was pretty much "I'm sorry Holly, but I'm a guy."

I just slammed the phone down. >.<

/sigh

Pointless topic, but at the moment I just feel so crap. :(
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:39 PM   #2
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one more story to prove females dont play this game
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:51 PM   #3
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Umm..sure they do. :shock: I can vouch for that... >.<

It's just the ones who act all cutesy like do *blush* or *poke* all the time you gotta watch out for. :\
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:53 PM   #4
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Maybe she thought you were acting kind of creepy stalkerish and put her brother on the phone. Think about it, makes more sense than picking up for a guy.











Unless he's gay. *nod*
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Old 10-13-2006, 05:55 PM   #5
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Well I'm thinking about staying with him even though he's lied to me because I do kinda like him. Iunno..

Least if I do I won't have to tell my parents I'm gay. XD
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Old 10-13-2006, 06:31 PM   #6
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Simple tip, if you see a female toon and she, for some stupid reason, gives you her number... expect the voice on the other end to be male. Hell I play a female Elvaan and I'm pretty sure I'm a guy... and there is no way in the 9 layers of hell I'd give anyone my phone number... at least not my real one.
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Old 10-13-2006, 08:31 PM   #7
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I have something to add.

Lately I've been going through a phase, and I decided to level my Elvaan. I find it strangely liberating to play a female character, and the last time I leveled her I went to BRD43 and had no problems at all. I went through many levels, and never developed any relationships.

This time around, I was in Valkurm and I met some really fun people. The next day we leveled together again, and they liked me, so they gave me a pearl. Every time someone gives me a pearl, I end up leaving the shell because I usually don't fit in with immaturity, and most shells are just that. I thought I'd say hi and never return.

Well this shell is pretty cool. I really like them. Made some good friends. Just one problem:

They think I'm a girl.

I'm not really trying to act like a girl, but I find myself doing it unconsciously. And its not cutesy things like asking guys to do favors or things. Most of it is just talk, things like acting like I have regular periods and saying pro-female things. Thank goodness I haven't developed any romantic relationships. (I am actually homophobe. >_< )

While I have not come outright and said "Hey I'm a guy," I have helped them with things using my main character, Saard, a Hume Male with 3 jobs over Lv.70, so I figured they'd get a clue and figure out I was actually a guy.

Nope. They still think I'm a girl that did more than 300 levels on a male character.

While this isn't quite the situation you have, it is precarious because I really like these people and I feel bad decieving them. I will have to tell them someday, but somehow I don't think they're going to believe me when I do tell them. I also understand that the sooner I tell them, the less damage it will do to find out I've been decieving them all this time.

I like playing my Elvaan.
:cry:
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Old 10-13-2006, 08:34 PM   #8
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Just say "Hey dudes, I'm a guy."
First thing I do when people try to flirt with me... or think I'm a girl. They ask me why? I HATE how Elvaan men do... well... everything.
If they don't believe you then just shrug and keep on keeping on... save that homophobe thing.
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Old 10-14-2006, 10:22 PM   #9
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So you've been hassling someone for a number... in all honesty you kind of deserved it lol. Taking an online romance seriously is just asking for trouble especially if you're giving this other person stuff. Online friendships should be just that: friendships. You're taking a rediculously huge risk thinking it's serious... though I have met a few couples in game that say they've been brought together because they met in game. I think that has like 1% odds.

An easier approach would have been voice chat with team speak or ventrillo or whatever else is out there. Not too complicated to setup a free server off your pc (provided you have broadband, would only hold a few people comfortably though). Seriously, getting a phone number is pretty personal and breaks any anonymity. I guess, just be glad it wasn't some 11 year old kid on the other side...
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Old 10-14-2006, 10:41 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raygun616
So you've been hassling someone for a number... in all honesty you kind of deserved it lol. Taking an online romance seriously is just asking for trouble especially if you're giving this other person stuff. Online friendships should be just that: friendships.
no. he really didn't deserve it, what he did deserve was the person he liked and seemed to like him being honest with him and not fucking with his emotions.

i know personally how hard it is to "just be friends". when you start liking someone love hits you like a baseball bat to the face, and it happens whether you like it or not.

falling in love online is really hard to deal with, most people try to avoid it and swear against it left and right.

that is until they happen meet someone in the game they like and their "just be friends" philosophy bites them in the ass, i have seen it all before
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Old 10-15-2006, 06:40 AM   #11
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Me and him just decided that we are going to be friends..and why not hassle him for a phone number? We only live 60 miles apart anyway..

and I'm not a he ><
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Old 10-15-2006, 06:43 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kismet
and I'm not a he ><
sorry >.> force of habit, so used to hearing about this kind of thing with guys
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Old 10-15-2006, 06:11 PM   #13
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well...

i think ur the first girl that knows what its like then for guys who do get into an online relationship to find out that their 'girl'friend has a suprise in their pants...

happened to me, and i believe this happens a lot more than what everyone seems to think...

its cool that u 2 are still going to be friends, i understand some ppl like to role play and whatnot but i dont think that people should do this, granted, i agree with the love hitting u in the face like a baseball bat, but if ur a guy playing a female character and a guy starts hitting on u... dont lead him on, thats just assenine and ignorant

if ur gay and playing a female charac to get guys to hit on u... then thats probably the most disturbing, cause in all actuality ur luring straight guys to u cause of ur charac...

sry hadda throw in my 2 cents
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Old 10-15-2006, 10:50 PM   #14
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Lucky for me that my latest online crush was a female, sadly age difference fucked that up ><
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Old 10-16-2006, 01:52 PM   #15
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Well to start I can definatly vouche that females play games. Half my LS is females and I've met about 1/3rd of them in-person.

Next thing I've had fun trying to identify female characters that are guys. Some it's pretty obvious just by the speach pattern, topic, or general behavior. Others are a little harder to peg, as I can tell in part it's because when they play a female character they have the ability to tap into their femanine side. So what you are getting is often a quite open-minded person and at times are pretty in-touch with their true emotions.

I am speaking that out of the past times that I have identified males playing females and when I've done it myself. Very wierd that when I play a female character and make a friend it stabs very deep when they betray me compared to when I play a male character. When I play a male character and they betray me I just shrug it off and kick his *** later. Very wierd almost uncontrollable and kind of creaps me out when I find myself acting that way on a female character, probably why I don't very often play a female character now.

To add though sometimes no matter what you do you have some people that completly refuse to believe the truth. I knew a guy that played a female and constantly stated he was a male, no one would believe him though they said his behavior in-game just seems impossible that he'd be a guy. They've heard his voice, seen his pictures, just about everything resonably conceivable and still they didn't believe him. In the end he pretty much gave up and just let them think he was a she.
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Old 10-16-2006, 02:31 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wenrick
I have something to add.

Lately I've been going through a phase, and I decided to level my Elvaan. I find it strangely liberating to play a female character, and the last time I leveled her I went to BRD43 and had no problems at all. I went through many levels, and never developed any relationships.

This time around, I was in Valkurm and I met some really fun people. The next day we leveled together again, and they liked me, so they gave me a pearl. Every time someone gives me a pearl, I end up leaving the shell because I usually don't fit in with immaturity, and most shells are just that. I thought I'd say hi and never return.

Well this shell is pretty cool. I really like them. Made some good friends. Just one problem:

They think I'm a girl.

I'm not really trying to act like a girl, but I find myself doing it unconsciously. And its not cutesy things like asking guys to do favors or things. Most of it is just talk, things like acting like I have regular periods and saying pro-female things. Thank goodness I haven't developed any romantic relationships. (I am actually homophobe. >_< )

While I have not come outright and said "Hey I'm a guy," I have helped them with things using my main character, Saard, a Hume Male with 3 jobs over Lv.70, so I figured they'd get a clue and figure out I was actually a guy.

Nope. They still think I'm a girl that did more than 300 levels on a male character.

While this isn't quite the situation you have, it is precarious because I really like these people and I feel bad decieving them. I will have to tell them someday, but somehow I don't think they're going to believe me when I do tell them. I also understand that the sooner I tell them, the less damage it will do to find out I've been decieving them all this time.

I like playing my Elvaan.
:cry:
i simpathize you, in a more complex way but I know the feeling. lol. I just act normal and I am seen as a girl. Dose not help i am somme what femanin irl. I agree with being a girl to other people by request,... dont ask <_< lol. I am a homophobe too so yeah its an aquard feeling :P
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Old 10-16-2006, 09:48 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hadrubient
Well to start I can definatly vouche that females play games. Half my LS is females and I've met about 1/3rd of them in-person.

Next thing I've had fun trying to identify female characters that are guys. Some it's pretty obvious just by the speach pattern, topic, or general behavior. Others are a little harder to peg, as I can tell in part it's because when they play a female character they have the ability to tap into their femanine side. So what you are getting is often a quite open-minded person and at times are pretty in-touch with their true emotions.

I am speaking that out of the past times that I have identified males playing females and when I've done it myself. Very wierd that when I play a female character and make a friend it stabs very deep when they betray me compared to when I play a male character. When I play a male character and they betray me I just shrug it off and kick his *** later. Very wierd almost uncontrollable and kind of creaps me out when I find myself acting that way on a female character, probably why I don't very often play a female character now.

To add though sometimes no matter what you do you have some people that completly refuse to believe the truth. I knew a guy that played a female and constantly stated he was a male, no one would believe him though they said his behavior in-game just seems impossible that he'd be a guy. They've heard his voice, seen his pictures, just about everything resonably conceivable and still they didn't believe him. In the end he pretty much gave up and just let them think he was a she.
Thank you for posting this, Hadru. I've never really had a problem being in touch with my feminine side, which is why I think this LS still thinks I'm a girl. I find it eerily easy to fall into feminine speech patterns and behaviour. And guy-bashing isn't hard at all. I know guys all too well, and I know our weaknesses, and its strikingly simple to exploit them. Not that I screw with other guys emotions on purpose; I am pure heterosexual, so I tease guys as if I were a guy anyway.

I mentioned that I slip into feminine ways, and what you mentioned, Hadru, was that when others betray me or hurt me in any way, I do feel hurt, almost as if I really were a girl. It kind of creeps me out too. I had a dream two nights ago that I was a girl . . . but I won't go into the details. :wink:

That story you told of the guy who was so unintentionally convincing that people thought he was a girl even when he showed his pic and talked with them over the phone, that made me laugh pretty hard.

kooldoggy: I'm not the most masculine person in real life, either. If you put makeup on me, forced me to grow out my hair, and put a dress on me, I'd basically look like a flat-chested girl with a baritone voice. I haven't actually tried this, but I'm curious as to how attractive I'd be. 8)

Someone mentioned earlier that as long as your relationship is "just friends" things will be okay, just make sure not to move into "relationship" mode. Well I agree with this completely, but this issue is more complex than it appears. Its very common for two people to NOT feel the same about each other. (I.E. Guy likes Girl, but Girl thinks of Guy as a "friend".) Now I'm not stupid, and I have been around girls long enough to know when they are being friendly, and when they are dropping hints. By no means do I drop hints at guys in this LS that I like them. I rarely even chat with them using /tell at all. (The only time I did /tell with a guy, he was engaged, and he didn't seem interested in me anyway.) If I get the impression that a guy in this LS starts to like me in "that way", I'll drop the bomb on him and tell him outright. I hope I leave the LS before that happens.[/img]
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Old 10-16-2006, 11:01 PM   #18
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I find it easiest to just assume whenever somebody says they're female, they are. I'm sure some people are lying, but it's really too much trouble to second guess my friends. Male, female, it doesn't really matter to me. If I don't know them, I assume they're a guy until they say differently.

Things do get a lot more complicated if you try to take it further than being a friend. Sometimes it works out. A friend of mine is living with her boyfriend that she met on FFXI. A friend from high school met his girlfriend online. I've heard quite a few stories like Kismet's too... It's really kind of a gamble. Raygun's point about talking on ventrillo first (or even AIM's crappy voice chat service) isn't bad, if you can do it.

I've had people assume I'm female because I play a mithra (with a female name...oops). I think it's understandable people would make that assumption. The only people that hit on me are the ones that don't know me. They exp with me and make a move... Always to get rejected with some form of "I'm not a woman". In LS chat I'm more likely to correct somebody if they call me "she". They're the ones I'm around the most.

I don't really know much about "getting in touch with my feminine side" by playing a female character. I kind of wonder if that's something you feel more when you go from a male character to a female character.
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Old 10-17-2006, 02:11 AM   #19
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Default Re: My stupid manthra friend..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kismet
I've been with this "girl" on FFXI for a few months..and I've been constantly hasslling her to get a phone so I can call her. Today she finally got a phone, I called her and long story short, the voice on the other end was pretty much "I'm sorry Holly, but I'm a guy."

I just slammed the phone down. >.<

/sigh

Pointless topic, but at the moment I just feel so crap. :(
Quote:
FFXI for a few months..and I've been constantly hasslling her to get a phone
Maybe she/he did it put some one else on the phone to have some peace? w

about girl no playing ffxi . there was a study and poll one of the fest, in japan was 65% girl usa was 54% eu was 48% that girl play im one of thous 1%
@ ffxi i just get hit on alot it dosnt make ffxi fun cause guys trying trying
plus. i let everyone just know im am a lezbian. i am realy. but at start game.. was frustrating some time i wish my rl friend dint open his big mouth told my real identy showed video,picture of me that was wend i was 12. almoust 4 years ago wend i came to play english vercion since i was in japanese vercion and another server. i mainly quited 4-7 times cause guys were anoying in game dint make game fun came obsesive and stuff

[sorry for my english it isnt my main]
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Old 10-17-2006, 04:25 PM   #20
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Ok, once again I pop out of the shadows to toss in my two cents.

On Cerberus I started our server's branch of Mithra Pride, an all Mithra LS. I was only the leader for a year before I passed it on to another, I'm not a good leader(Still quite active in their forum's). But yeah, I can say that if you ever have an online relationship with someone, take that with a grain of salt. I'd wager 40-60 percent of all Mithra are male, and 10-20 percent of all female characters are male.

I myself am male. (I picked a mithra for two reasons. The looks and because I wanted to be a Drg, and at the time I was told Dex was great for Drg's.) And I'm bi, and I do like to flirt. I do, however, keep it at that for the most part. Knowing where to stop is just as important if not more so then their real life gender.

Oh yeah, have no delusions about it blossoming into a full blown relationship irl. Even if you are opposite genders and like eachother alot.....long distance relationships are a total bitch. (Dated a girl for 2 years when she was 800 miles away. And yes, I met her a few times irl. And no, you don't want to know how horrendous the phone bill was.)
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